it's mild the snow is melting
an eerie silence floats in the air
then this bear-like growl of a Springsteen parody smashes the silence to bits
...[aside: I had to clean the dog today and came up with the term: shit bits...the Guru was jealous]...
I look down on my tortured Sansa player and verify that it is indeed Springsteen...
I muffle down the fear that this duet album will turn out to be Santana like in it's atrocity and degrading a reputation until diamonds are covered up by so much shit that it's hard to remember there once was a diamond shining
brightly
underneath...I recall that I liked Working Man's Cafe (2007) and Other People's Lives (2006) and the choral album was...interesting...but a duets album??
Is the duets album the last gasp of a talent looking to tour 1 more time...
have 1 last tan from the sun?
The song finally fades and ray sounds great and springsteen parodies himself...once again...
a beautiful day
somewhat grey
is about to talk a turn for the worse...
OM FUCKING G!!!!!
who the fuck is butchering "Celluloid Heroes", which features some of rays primo songwriting???? Is this a joke??? I take my player out of my pocket to see who is
the butcher
The Missing Link!!!
The Missing Link?? Yeh, I just got a copy of "Bang Your Head" by The Missing Link skimmed to the back and recognized exactly what he was talking about and will be starting it tonight from the beginning...anyway...back to our regularly scheduled rant...
I press the button on the player to see who this criminal of duets albums is & find that it is
:::::
??????????????
Mr. Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame himself
JON BON JOVI
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I beam with smug satisfaction...I was right!!!...
All those years I thought bon jovi was crap I was right!!!!!
I am justified!!!!
Not based on name or reputation...I had no idea who was this perpetrator of evil was...no no no...
I hated bon jovi from a place of pure innocence!!!
Jon Bon Jovi, sir...
YOU SUCK!!!
amazingly celluloid heroes is such a great song and ray sings 1/2 of it...you find yourself singing the song loudly...regardless [aside: also a good precaution to scare the bears!] and you know deep down in your heart that, yes, you are a better singer than Bon Jovi!!!
the walk continues
the album continues
I breathe in deeply as 2 kids come running towards me being pulled by 2 dogs that put together wouldn't come close to weighing as much as poobah does -- a yorkie pom ---
this time 1 of the dogs - the male - was peaceful and would gladly ignore us, but the female...that was a different story...she would go nuts as the 10 year old struggled to keep the 3 pound terror under control...we walked on & I realized that poobah had decided to go on strike until something was done about these dogs...soon enough the kids and the dogs veered off in a different direction to free up poobah from ass sniffers, but unfortunately left me to go back to focus on the album...
The next song with "Mumfo" - so i saw on the player...actually it's mumford and sons and it sounds good the song is good the voice is good and after spending 8 minutes and 32 seconds in hell with bruce springsteen and jon bon jovi it sounds fine...back to normalcy...
"Long Way from Home" with lucinda williams continues the streak of 2..."ok"...renditions from ray's catalog...nothing special...but...ok...
[aside: i saw lucinda williams open up for neil young on neil's "only harvey dog likes this stinker" greendale tour...and she was...ok veering towards good...]
* sigh * i hate to say it, but i enjoyed metallica doing you really got me with a fair bit of energy..* sigh *...
palomo faith and ray do a lola duet and its good and i need to scare away the bears so i start screaming:
I met her in a club down in old Soho
Where you drink champagne
and it tastes just like Cherry Cola...
...
and the bears stay away and we are safe
we are safe...
jackson browne sniffed rays duet album like a 3 lb. dog wants to sniff the inside of poobah's ass, and he plucked the classic "waterloo sunset" from ray's garden of eden..and it sounds like...jackson browne singing waterloo sunset...ya know, i'm so beautiful playing my guitar and i'm deep and girls like me but im still sensitive and aren't i still deep??? nope, and you dragged down a classic into - the ether of nothingness that your music resides in...
AHHHH!!!!!!!
finally, we have a WINNER!!
Alex Chilton kicking ass on "Til the End of the Day"!!! He actually sounds like he's having - you know - FUN!! rocking out on a true 60s classic. yeeha!!!!
Amy Macdonald (not very familiar with her) joins Ray for a music hall version of "Dead End Street" and we're back into "ok" territory...nothing more nothing less...actually pretty much of nothing...
Spoon joins Ray for a great version of "See My Friends". Spoon adds an eastern esoterica to the song and gives it a drone-like atmosphere, which suits the song very nicely indeed. This is when a duets album can work - when the artists work together towards creating a "different" end product that can reveal different elements that the song possesses instead of comparing the size of their basketballs and who's really doing who a favour???? hmmmmmmm......
OK...Here's where I reveal a confession. Keep it quiet, though...shhhhhh....."im not a fan of the pixies"...so frank black doing "This Is Where I Belong" does for me what The Pixies do for me, which is...nothing much at all...
David Watts is there...
then gone...
was he ever really here???
am I really here????
is that bear really here?!?!?! [aside: jk]
Gary Lightbody? No idea...oh...snow patrol guy...now i recognize the name, but can't say i'm familiar with his / their work. "Tired of Waiting For You" is another brilliant 2 1/2 minute Ray song, that would be difficult to screw up. Mr. Lightbody does not screw it up, so he proves that he is better than bon jovi or bruce springsteen.
Billy Corgan emerges from the dark to appear on a mishmash of "All Day & All of the Night" & "Destroyer". They run through it and it brings the album to a final close. It's...."ok", and I see the great big green house we live in quickly approaching...
the dog is hustling
her ass is wiggling
my mind is reeling
I think back on the last year, the upcoming year...dreams, goals and desires remain...tainted by reality, but still there
still there
and to wrap this baby up I decide to list my fav songs from this pretty mediocre verging on unnecessary piece of music history...
1. Till the End of the Day (alex chilton)
2. See My Friends (spoon)
T3. You Really Got Me (metallica)
T3. Lola (paloma faith)
.
12. Waterloo Sunset (jackson browne)
13. Better Days (springsteen)
14. Celluloid Heroes (bon jovi)
ray brother you still sound great,
but duet albums are the kiss of death...
*******************
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