Loving life in Haida Gwaii...
I love the pace, I love the beauty, I love the long walks along the beach with The Bah and The Guru, I love our (rented) house...
but, there's always a fucking BUT
I'm getting frustrated with the job scene. I guess you gotta get out and make contacts and all of that shit BUT BUT BUT baby baby I have a hell of a time doing that. It's not easy for me to do...I get anxious, I get nervous, I lose confidence, I don't feel like Me. All I want is a 35-40 hour a week job where I can do my shit, get paid ok, and go home and enjoy life and work on some creativity.
You see, the thing is, everyone seems to assume that we're all go-getters, we all want to network and shit, but hey, there's a shitload of people out there who aren't into that scene.
Just check out the asylums and hospitals!!!
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Seriously, I seem to be reducing the depression since moving here to the "rock". People still make me anxious as shit, but I'm working on it! Since moving here, I'm writing more [aside: which is a big deal to me, if not for anyone else...I'm not sure if it's very good, but I'm working on it, and the words are flowing out of the cranium more quickly than they have for years.]. I've even started taping myself singing, talking, yelling, playing incompetent recorder and harmonica and off-beat banging on the drum, and I'm having a blast doing so!
I somehow did some healing in that godawful place of Prince George, BC and the contentment I feel here (except for that job thingy) should finish up the process as much as I'm capable of. I'll even go out with The Guru at night without getting all weirded out!
Wow! I'll be running for office soon!
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Whatever happened to the women's movement??? It strikes me that women have more opportunity to make bucks, but they're treated with more hostility and hatred now. Why else would 10 year old girls feel the need to starve themselves and then still feel FAT?? Yeh, that sounds like a healthy society to me...Just watch tv [aside: on second thought, DON'T watch tv]...I mean lots of the media are saying Britney Spears was too fat at the mtv vma?? She may have addiction problems [aside: and I don't blame her...if I was her you'd have to pull the fucking needle out of my arm before you pushed me onto the stage!], but being FAT ain't one of them. Stupid insensitive hateful media and everybody who just follows along agreeing are just as guilty...
I never thought I'd actually be defending Britney, but what the hell...this has nothing to do with her music or videos or whatever. She's human too, dammit!
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photo courtesy of Cassandra's Eye.
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